Shake that Booty?!

What up Buddy?

Meet my human ice breaker.- He calls himself Captain Hookshot (name: courtesy of Walt Disney World). Few people can say they've met a pirate in Taiwan....until today that is. Wyatt garnered more attention and elicited more looks which resulted in me talking to more people then I have since we've moved here. During the course of waiting for one traffic light Hookshot had me making polite conversation with some lovely women who then in turn proceeded to  invite me to some local activities after the Chinese New Year. Huh. How 'bout that assimilation guy? Wyatt then lovingly sustained pinches, squeezes and a lot of fast talking Mandarin throughout the day by random people. I know what you're thinking. It wasn't creepy...at least, I know that wasn't the intent.  Despite the shy-guy-coy routine pleeeeease- I know he was loving every minute of it.
There was no huge flurry of activity here but we are getting a bit more comfortable in our surroundings and we branched out...no McDonald's for us today..I KNOW! Can you believe it?! A day at the park (see Mullet on Home page), lunch at Sogo's (replete with creme puffs from Beard Papa's mmmm..)(Thank God we have to walk everywhere) followed by drinks at Coco's. All for a mere few hundred bucks (NT $ of course). Hookshot and I walked through some of the local street vendors  picking up veggies and produce for a slightly above crappalicious dinner (you don't need all of the
details people, and hey, I tried). We were even able to wrap up the day by discovering our local pharmacy after my hubby asked me to find some Dayquil. Dayquil...... Right.The only way I found the pharmacy was because it was stacked floor to ceiling with boxes of what appeared to be meds...I think. Luckily the hunch was correct. Also, I want to take a minute to challenge anyone- anyone to a game of charades. Pictionary? Bring it. Of course, like my calves, if I keep making these bold statements and fall devastatingly short...well, that would be really embarrassing now wouldn't it? But seriously- Just use your imaginations as to what I needed to mime in order to get non-drowsy decongestant. Yeah, take a minute. To appease the curious, I have a picture of said "Dayquil."
I'll let Wyatt pick his outfit out tomorrow too...can't wait to see what the reactions will be once he wears his muscle shirt.

uhhh....Dayquil.

Does not play well with others..........

No, I'm not talking about Wyatt. Shockingly, I'm talking about myself. Our assimilation/make sure we're adjusting ok guy came on Monday......all day. Prior to his arrival we had to take a quiz of sorts rating ourselves in an honest manner as to how we handle particular situations (in our new environment), which was a segway into our personalities...blah bah.  It was helpful  aaaannnndddd insightful....I s'pose. Apparently I'm individualistic, have low patience and do not open myself up to other people very easily. WHAT?! That's outrageous! Just because I am internally screaming MOVE OUT OF MY WAY each and EVERY time I am out on the sidewalk or the crosswalk because people are moving at a pace just slightly faster than one who is dead does not necessarily indicate impatience. In the same vein when I answered assimilation guy's questions about my hobbies/interests by stating I like to read, write, maybe take up art again or karate classes.....does that imply that I am individualistic? Uh yeah. yeah it does. I'll be honest. I had never thought about that one a whole lot. Fantastic. Everyone wave at the hypocrite. HI!!!! Hey! How are you!!! So right after I tell my son each and every day that he needs to play nice with the other kids, show positive body language, to make an effort, I go right back to reading my kindle. Sweet. So, now what? I basically asked this to my guy. He said that I am going to have to initiate- that while friendly, the culture here is not to come over to new neighbors, say hello and bring freshly baked muffins. Great. So this now goes beyond following through with responses in a conversation- this involves me initiating one. Hmmmm.
Adjustment/Assimilation guy spoke a lot about the culture and talked about how there's more of a group mentality here as opposed to individualistic views; there is the fear of "losing face", looking bad in front of others that forces people to maintain traditional social norms. Interesting stuff. I'm going to have to research a bit more so I can be better versed in all things Taiwanese.
On a positive note, Wyatt and I did make cookies to bring to neighbors, in an effort to expand my isolating ways. The woman and her family weren't home, and in an effort to be friendly, we attempted to give the cookies to the doorman, who is usually quite a lovely person. He refused them.- 0h well. Better luck next time.
P.S. For those of you wondering, though the results didn't come in, I do believe that My husband  "the golden child" scored ideally on the little personality test. I mean what's not to love. The man is perfect in every way.

The Power of Gravity

Arrow showing me I was headed the right way...without taking the bus.

Adventure Fridays? That's giving me far to much credit. How about,  Migraine Madness or Freakin out Fridays? Nah. It wasn't that bad, but seriously these buses suck. I know my sense of direction sucks, but that's beside the point. Let's back up. Going to The National Taiwan Science Education Center seemed to be the best option, considering *gasp* that the weather outside looked like it was about to pour any second. I also have to admit that in my web review of this place and the fact that it stated there was a Starbucks housed inside had me a huge fan from go. So go we did.  **As a side note I have to tell you, my calves are going to look smokin'.- I mean let's give it a couple more months, and not to put a lot of pressure on myself, since now everyone will be looking at my legs when I come home; but I have never walked so much in my life.** Back to go-We took the MRT one stop which was no biggie (you hear that? NO BIGGIE)- and upon stepping out of the train studied the map. Yeah, that's right- I studied the map- like I knew what I was doing. I then proceeded to go to the information desk (cue laugh track). The information desk attendant handed me a slip of paper that read Bus R3, R12 or R30. OOOOOHHHHHHH OK. Now I knew exactly which direction we were heading in.- Again, using my women's intuition and my heady sense of direction, we headed towards the bus stop- There was a bus there (which let's be honest, that's the only way I knew it was the bus stop) so Wyatt and I got on. Learning my lesson, I showed the driver the piece of paper I had gotten from the attendant, and apparently he knew what it meant. I was on the wrong bus. Awesome. I gestured questioningly, as if to say, dude, where do I go???? (* I did in fact  just write the word dude, but if this is a factual account of what occurred- I have to tell you what I was thinking). He pointed across the street. ughh. fine. So I'm struggling to get back off the bus, as I've got Wyatt's stroller, Wyatt, my purse....then Wyatt dropped his chocolate cracker bag all over the front of the bus. This is why people aren't allowed to eat or drink on public transportation here. So I'm apologizing on my hands and knees cleaning up this mess and trying to get off a bus that I'm not supposed to be on. Gosh, this scenario sounds frighteningly familiar. (NOW cue Migraine).- I have no patience for this kind of stuff. -This is the part where Wyatt's future wife can thank me (I write sarcastically) because this is when my not-so-classy moments arise. Think child's hissy fit, but more internal and implosive, with just a tad oozing out in passive aggressiveness as I become annoyed and frustrated with Wyatt. I'm not quite sure why I get so upset.- Self awareness is the first step right....or admitting I have a problem?! Again, I digress. But no doubt these are the moments that will lead Wyatt into therapy I'm sure. So we cross the street and I take out these precious Chinese directions showing them to a random lady as she eagerly begins talking in Chinese and pointing straight ahead. I make out her pointing or stating the word right and the name of a street I remember seeing on that map I had been studying. (I know right!!- I'll never put myself down for that again. I read that map like it was my job...which technically it is, since I don't have a job and getting us where we need to go kinda is....) I decided to hoof it (for those who may be younger who are reading this, that means walk) and we found it!!! SUPER. So we went in, ate and much to my dismay did NOT see a Starbucks anywhere in view. What a bummer. Trying to get over this- we headed to the kids level where they had a ton of games n' stuff. There was this simulation of an earthquake which completely freaked Wyatt, and of course he refused to go....which was then followed by Wyatt's refusal to do a number of other cool things due to him being scared. Seriously Wyatt? I refrained from telling him to suck it up and we went in the child's play area where we built an amazing house of Lego's and Wyatt put together some other stuff in an engineer-like manner.

"The Picture"

On our way out, I thought a picture of the Science museum would be cool, you know for posterity and stuff. Wyatt was in his umbrella stroller and we stopped for a second so I could get a picture, since the first one didn't come out. OK. This is where I win the mother of the year award. After I took this SO VERY important picture I turned to grab the stroller and continue walking....and it wasn't there. To my complete horror the stroller was gone. Apparently Wyatt, having temporarily lost the ability to use his feet or his vocal chords, ROLLED AWAY seeing as I forgot to put the brakes on...... and was 1/4 of an inch over the curb and just about in the street. After promptly throwing up in my mouth, I did as any other respectable mother would do and calmly walked over to the stroller, put my hands on the handles with a extra firm grip, looked around and acted as if I had planned it to happen that way. That I WANTED my child to roll in the middle of rush hour traffic while I got the perfect shot. Thankfully, the rest of the evening and the journey home were uneventful and drama free. How awesome is that.
Saved

Where do the Crumbs Go?

Consider yourself forewarned as I continue to turn the minutiae of my day into entertaining blog fodder. I'll make it as painless as possible.
Apartment living is.......well it's interesting. Being startled awake at 5:00 am by what sounds like cement blocks being dumped on my head by the tenants above, crying babies at 2 am, the grating voice of our elevator at 1 am announcing the arrival of our neighbors across the hall...it's all an adjustment to be sure after having lived in a house for so long. Which begs the question...can my neighbors hear me? How thick are these walls anyway? And the marble floors? I'm pretty sure you can here a pin drop...I mean, I hear them dropping all the time upstairs. Let's not mince words.....when I'm annoyed, um, well, I know this may come as a shock, I'm a yeller....Can my neighbors hear all that? I wonder what they're thinking. Do I even want to know? Is there a Child Protective Services over here? The whole concept unnerves me. As a side note, I only raise my voice when Wyatt's not listening, or when he's whining...or talking back. Huh. No, seriously, should I be worried?
Let me disclose some further information. I've never professed to have any type of domestic prowess. You know, things like cleaning and cooking-they're just not where my strengths lie. In fairness, Will knew what he was getting. I never professed otherwise- actually I was very up front, not that I really needed to say anything- my clutter of a life spoke for itself. I'm the type of housekeeper that in a pinch may  sweep a pile of whatever it is that needs to be swept up under a rug...or a couch. Piles of paper? No biggie- find a drawer. I am after all, a master stuffer. Crumbs on my kid? Scoop him up, shake him outside. Which now leads me to my current apartment dilemma. Wyatt's breakfast consisted of a chocolate muffin. While tasty, it was quite "crumby" as evidenced by the baked good remnants all over my son and white marble floor. I'm embarrassed to write this- but I had a momentary flash of panic. I mean I don't own a Dustbuster, my garbage can reaches as high as my mid-calf and I don't have any throw rugs yet. We're on the third floor so I knew that pulling a Michael Jackson and shaking him off the balcony probably wasn't going to work(my windows don't open that far anyway). Well, thank goodness I'm a gal who thinks on her feet-I cradled him like an infant and threw him(shook him..wow, that doesn't really sound any better...) in the shower. Don't be scared for me. This whole decision making process all took approximately one minute. I didn't belabor the issue and leave Wyatt stranded in the living room to watch Dora from his chair all day or anything (though that was also a fleeting thought).
Thankfully the rest of the weekend was relatively stress free. Wyatt and I went to the International Flower Expo in which the most "exciting" part was deliberating how incredibly socially inappropriate it would be for Wyatt to discreetly take a leak in a bush seeing as all of the bathrooms were taken. It's never good when a kid is clutching themselves in a panic with that face..yeah, you know the one- the face that screams I'M NOT GONNA MAKE IT.- Thankfully he did make it and we did not breach  social etiquette (or break any laws for that matter) in the process. At this point I'm just waiting for Will to come home-'cause as the sole entertainment for my child, I have to say, I'm pretty whipped.

This was Wyatt's third wish. He wished for a backhoe.

Riding the Rails

I was about to write We did it!!!!! as my opener, and then became instantaneously nauseated as the Dora the Explorer theme song came into my head. I have SO much respect for mothers. Anyway, with that tidbit aside, Wyatt and I did in fact ride the MRT (subway system) today by ourselves, WITHOUT GETTING LOST.  I KNOW, right?!??! Pretty Awesome.......
As of today, Wyatt and I began our new tradition of Adventure Fridays where we are going to plan something just a little more fabulous then what we do every other day of the week. We started off with a bang today and went to the Taipei City Zoo. The skies were of course perpetually spitting on us throughout the day, but drizzle's better then downpour; so rain or no rain, anything short of a natural disaster, we had to go.  It was kind of funny-as involved as Wyatt is with Billy the Exterminator his stance was firm about the Nocturnal House; he refused to go in. I have to admit, I was bummed. I mean, how paradoxical, the kid pretends to capture "Rodents of Unusual Sizes" on a daily basis and then says he's scared to see an armadillo behind glass? Ahhh well, I guess at the end of the day, he is still four. Wyatt's favorite part of the zoo were the African animals, particularly the lions. He enjoyed playing hide and seek with the monkeys and got to see camels, rhinos and panda bears. True in form to his father, he made me read each animal excerpt in order to learn more about what he was seeing. All in all the day was an amazing success!  The cherry on top of all this awesomeness is Wyatt's new friend(pictured below), which he so aptly named Pumpkin Patch.

Bus to Nowhere

Well, this was bound to happen. Those of you who know me, know that I either get lost or lose important or valuable items. Some may view this as a fault. I however, see it as one of my finest gifts. Not everyone has this talent, I can assure you..... but that's neither here nor there. Speaking of being neither here no there (what a fantastic segway).......NO, I didn't lose Wyatt today. For those of you who may still be thinking about me losing valuable items......
Just to back up a bit, Will and I decided to sign up Wyatt for classes 4 days a week. Upon our arrival he was signed up for a Mandarin Class and a Cooking class, which then progressed into me signing him up for a Science class another 2 days a week, (seeing that we both really need that hour break from one another).And let's be honest, he needs that interaction with other kids. OK. Moving along. So, we were cutting it a little close today in regards to making it to his class via walking. We have a few choices to get there. We can 1) walk 2) get a taxi or 3) take the free shuttle bus which apparently drives within the proximity of where his classes are held. (Note the word choice of apparently within #3).  So feeling adventurous with the naivete of a toddler, I opted for option #3. (I would have taken option #2 if only I had the address of my destination in Mandarin).

THE BUS.

So we venture to the shuttle bus stop, approximately 2 minutes from our apartment and I am confronted with a choice. I spot two different maps. Crap. I was definitely under the impression that there was one option. Wait for this one option and it will take you where you need to go...and it's free! Nothing my friends, comes for free (NT $200 later for the ice cream I had to buy my son as an apology for missing his science class...but more on that momentarily). I hesitantly ask a woman in line if there are two different buses. She says yes. Being extremely intuitive, I gather these are all the facts she is going to give me. I have a 50/50 chance of picking the correct bus.  I at that moment decide- forget it, I'll walk... and then Wyatt is screaming that the wind is blowing, that he's cold *whine* whine *whine* cheese with that whine Wyatt?...ughhh- Fine!!!!! WE'RE GETTING ON THE BUS WYATT!!!!! And that dear readers, was the beginning of our journey to nowhere. As soon as the bus pulled out and began going the opposite way of my intended destination, I should have pushed the big red button above my head that read stop; but to be fair, we're in a strange country, and all of our lives we've been instinctively taught NOT to push that red button. I waited nearly the entire trip for someone to push that button, and once she did, the bus did not explode and the passengers all remained intact. ( I filed this piece of knowledge away for next time) SOOOOO we proceeded to ride around Taiwan, for the next 30-40 minutes, missing Wyatt's science class much to his dismay. It was no Hollywood tour I assure you, but I now know which bus NOT to take...assuming of course there are only 2 buses...............

We Survived!!! 

The Demise of Pumpkin Patch

For those of you familiar with Wyatt; you know that he has a small blue/green sidekick by the name of Pumpkin Patch. We're uncertain if he came up with this unique name on his own, and if we're completely honest , should really give credit to his friend Hunter, as I believe he has a twin dog by the same name. Anyways, for point of reference, Wyatt has never really been a stuffed animal kid. Despite this, something in him snapped over the summer and he became obsessed with this stuffed puppy that Will won him at our local carnival. Pumpkin Patch has been everywhere.....and I do mean everywhere. Even more unfortunate is that a good washing would tear this poor puppy to shreds. Even so, Pumpkin Patch made it to Taiwan without a hitch and has been a bit of a security blanket for Wyatt.
Over the weekend we were in the Taiwanese pseudo-Walmart ( I will not even try to spell its actual name) and Wyatt was clutching both his puppy and socks (his sock monkey). Somewhere between the first and second floor, a trip to the bathroom, a small meltdown (Wyatt's, not mine) Pumpkin Patch vanished.  Will stayed in the car with Wyatt while an astounding game of charades was played in this pseudo- Walmart as a valiant attempt was made to communicate to the sales people at customer service  that there was a missing stuffed puppy. After a thorough search was made, we came up empty handed.
Let me stop here. Are people really honest in blogs? I mean really honest? Let me share with you at this point- I was very unstable. This isn't about a missing stuffed animal. Since I've gotten here, the loss of Pumpkin Patch represents my (our?) current circumstance. As I relayed to my four year old son that Pumpkin Patch was gone, that I didn't think that he'd see him again, that he was lost; I realized I feel the same way. I feel completely lost. We are in a whole different world. Trying to figure things out, and it's frustrating and upsetting. When I told Wyatt, he didn't scream, and quite honestly he didn't even cry, but the complete sadness in his eyes at his loss made me want to weep.- It seemed at that moment that he knew, like I know, some things you just can't get back.
Look, I know I'm one for the melodramatic, so I won't end the post there.  Without going into a ton of detail, the first couple days were great...we got to see Will, we're going out to eat fa la la la la.......then the rains came (literally) and Will has gone back to work, and I'm learning how to be a stay at home mom. A good one. And it's really really tough. I'm just hoping and praying for some sun tomorrow.

We have arrived (feel free to hold your applause).

With the exception of a couple of minor outbursts (which I have to admit were fairly hysterical), Wyatt was exceptional throughout the 78 hour + plane ride. Yes, yes, I am aware it was not 78 hours, but sweet mother, it sure felt like it. Freezing planes, decent in-flight food, good movies, WAY to much carry-on luggage (note to self), sore shoulders...ehhh, all in all not too bad. Ok, but back to my proud social work mom-moment.- Having had "the talk" with Wyatt on previous occasions of differing ways to express himself when frustrated, he exercised appropriate coping skills throughout the flight by screaming loudly approximately 2-3 times for 10-20 second intervals at the top of his lungs. Being the proud mother that I am, I made no effort to stop him, as I felt that he was just expressing himself, and doing what everyone else  wanted to do but could not, due to the the fear of being socially inappropriate. Ahhh the perils of being an adult and the beauty of being a child. Anyway, once he got all of the pent up frustration out of his system, he felt at ease to carry on with the remainder of the flight without incident. I LOVE this kid-AND....he rolls his own bag; could a mother ask for more?
So, here we are in Taiwan where Will is the equivalent of Norm from CHEERS. The man walks down the street and has doormen from other apartment complexes greeting him and asking if I'm his husband.(Apparently this one particular doorman practices his English during his brief encounters with Will....um, he learned the word wife today.....) In addition to going to Starbucks, going to the park, getting through grocery shopping and locating plates and glasses at the local Holu (the Taiwan equivalent of a Bed Bath & Beyond) we headed to Chiles for Will's Birthday dinner. I know this may come as a shock to some, but apparently Will also frequents this establishment with startling regularity.Enough so, that he calls the waitresses "his girls" (not to them of course) and enough that when he went last night they gave him a free meal for when his family arrived.  He's so funny. Anyways, they adored The Wyatt and treated him with all the perks of a celebrity; literally picking him up, fawning all over him and administering a Chile Pepper tattoo on his hand, (which he refused to wash off in the tub tonight). I ask you, does it get better then this? I think not. But I'll slow down. It is, after all, only day 1. 

Taiwan Bound

I struggled with a name for the blog and came up with Bliss.- I kind of liked it, so it stuck. To be blissed out, or in a state of bliss is where many of us would like, or strive to be. As Will, Wyatt and I begin this adventure in Taiwan, it is is pure optimism on my part to begin to think that the next two to three years will be ones of pure bliss, but if I can reach that point in my spiritual and physical life, I will be one happy camper.
It seemed appropriate to begin a blog so that the world (or at least a handful of friends and family) can keep track of us as we embark on our adventure across the world. We fly off tomorrow at 6 am and are looking forward to seeing Will (affectionately known to some as "the big guy"), as it has been close to 2 months that we've been without him. Is he ready for us? Time will tell. Is the flight of poor, helpless, trapped passengers ready for us? ahhhh, time will tell.........and of course I will tell all of you : 0