Wyatt-isms

Wyatt-isms......

I feel that background information is important, rather than just stating what he said. After all, we want you all to feel the full experience.

July 2017
WOW.  It's been awhile. I'm working on my entrepreneurial self, but nerves are getting the best of me. Wyatt told me, you've got nothing to lose but your business card. Indeed.

August 2014
Oh Wyatt.  This has been an interesting year with my little love. I say this with endearment. I'm not really sure what to say. Wyatt is a funny, funny kid. He says funny things every day. He IS however reaching that point where he has crossed the line from being adorable and precocious to smart-mouthed and disrespectful. He continues to be funny, but I just find it harder to laugh when he and I are just SOOO at odds, seemingly all the time.
With that being said, I have to share. We were at an Italian-esque restaurant and the glasses had figures of women on the sides. Wyatt is really touching that glass and by that I mean touching the breasts on the figures. I said um...Wyatt.....what exactly is it that you're doing? He was like, I can't do this in real life, it's not appropriate. HAHAHA. No Wyatt. No it's not.

June 2013
Seriously. He has been saying funny stuff left and right, I've just been sucking about writing it all down. Here's one I happened to catch.
So it's been a hot one! The Wyatt says-Ice Cream will cheer up my mouth. When it's hot it needs something cold." Don't need to tell me twice buddy.

End of the Year Links to Wyatt throughout his kindergarten year. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=87BKSWrGIak
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=HptPb6z-GBY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=krA9eboBpf8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=5FJKrazhigU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=OumiDRIYyrg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=B-QfXfkXa98
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=JfkaFm5Fo3I
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=CiQfMrXyikw

Love this-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=jGafeeIDMa0

Yup. There's more.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ogIjQN9J3fE




Wyatt had these shots done a few months ago and we just got the catalogue back from the agent. He's so stinkin' cute.

 

 

October 2012
It's Friday night.
Wyatt-"Dad. Is it time for me to go to bed?"
Will- no not yet- 9:00 is when you have to go to bed.
Wyatt- "No- 9 is NOT my favorite number."

To read this, it really doesn't sound funny. Trust me- it was.

September 2012

We're doing the whole morning routine...OK. Trying to do the whole morning routine, and I begin talking to Will. No response. My face must look....annoyed. Wyatt looks at my face, looks at his father and says DAD. Will turns his head, looks at me and says..What, what did I do??? Wyatt response: Mom was talking to you and you didn't look at her or answer her question. When mommy talks to you, you need to answer her. 

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH. There it is. PARENTING WIN!!!!

You are welcome future -Wyatt's- wife. 

Job done.

September 2012

We need to cut back on our use of the word crackhead... but it's just so hard. Anyway- Wyatt was doing something crazy and Will was like you are such a crackhead. 

Wyatt: Dad, You are not allowed to use that word. You cannot call me a crackhead. We are only allowed to call mom a crackhead. 

Oh. Nice. Thanks....

September 2012

I over heard Wyatt playing with his two toys. He took one character and said to the other- In the Bible it says Starscream is more powerful than Megatron.

I'm interested to know what book he found THAT in. 

August 2012

Wyatt and I are doing some school food shopping. I'm at the check out paying for our items, when he looks at me very matter of factly, and says, I'll meet you outside Loser. 

WHAAAAT did you call me Wyatt? (trying ineffectively to remain calm)

Wyatt: Loser.

Me- (tried to then calmly explain you can't call people that). I mean, where would he have gotten that from? hmmm.......

August 2012

We're watching the Olympics and it happens to be the gymnastics portion with the girls who can do AMAZING things with ahem...balls. Wyatt states very matter of factly to Will, Maybe you should marry that girl. Apparently he saw in her some special skills, but hello?!? I'm right here!!!

July 2012

Wyatt is full of randomness. Out of nowhere he says to me....When I get old, I'm gonna blow smokers. (Which I found after some confusion to be cigarettes).

With much conviction he continued with- Only old people can blow smokers. GIRLS aren't allowed to blow smokers.

So there you have it. 

May 2012

Wyatt in talking to Will in reference to me- If she comes back here and starts yelling, you better bring me back to my room.....cause it's not gonna be pretty.

April 2012

Wyatt is skyping with his grandparents and is showing his shell collection. He says this one is wicked. I look at him. Wicked? Why is it wicked. 

He looks at me like I'm ridiculous and says COOL. 

Oh yes, but why of course. It's Wicked Cool. How silly of me. 

April 2012

Since we were doing a lot of exploring over Wyatt's spring break and I get lost and misplaced easily,I was trying to get him psyched up about taking the bus etc. I said, It'll be an adventure!!!

Wyatt's response: It won't be if we don't get there.

How old is this kid anyway???

April 2012

Wyatt is messing around with the Ipad- Will tells him to stop and he persists..then screws something up. Sensing danger, Wyatt quickly diffuses the situation by giving that little look of his and saying to us us very seriously, I need to work on my IPad skills. 

Oh this child.

March 2012

The Cooper's are conversing with one another in their normal plyful banter and I make the comment "Daddy's Crazy." Wyatt looks at me and says- my first thought..- YOU are crazy.

February 2012

Wyatt said the B word...as in BOOBIES. Kill me now.

February 2012

Wyatt's on the back of the bike and states-Mom. Sage says that a couple isn't 2. 

Me: Wyatt how old is Sage?

Wyatt: 5

Me: How old am I?

Wyatt: Unresponsive,( though he may have said 9?)

Me: 33. Who's older?

Wyatt: you.

Me: Who knows more?

Wyatt: You

Me: How many is a couple Wyatt?

Wyatt: 2.

You mess with momma you get burned. 

February 2012

How about a breathing treatment, breathing treatment....

(you just have to picture the way he said it) and then he did this...

January 2012

So Will was saying a bunch of "silly" stuff to Wyatt today, apparently asking questions that were clearly below Wyatt's intelligence level i.e. so raccoons, are they out at night or during the day kind of questions. Wyatt calmly walks over to Will looks at his head and says to me, do you think his head is broken mom?

hahahahaha.

December 2011

Will took Wyatt into the bathroom a Ocean Park in HongKong. A guy in the bathroom was apparently hocking up quite loudly and Wyatt turns to him and said, do you have a snake stuck in your throat, turning to Will, saying, it sounds like a snake is in his throat!

The guy stopped hacking up whatever reptile was in his throat and immediately left the vicinity.

Hmmmm. Note to self........

September 2011

In regards to the thefts of our bikes.... 

Wyatt: Take the bad people to the Dr.-give them shots and NOT give them bandaids.
Agreed.

So Wyatt has been extra curious about bodies and how things work. This makes for exciting conversations which Wyatt initiates right before bedtime with Will.
Regarding body systems-
Wyatt: How did God make me?
Will: Well you started off as just a speck in your mom's belly.
Wyatt: Well how did God put blood in me?
Will: God is the blood guy and he gave you blood and breath-While you were still in moms belly -
Wyatt- Contemplating Will's response, and in a Wyatt kind of way said, Dad, I don't know if you know this....but God made me special.
Indeed Huai Te

August 18, 2011
We're riding up the escalator of the MRT and Wyatt gets very excited calling out as he sees a billboard, THERE'S A W!!!!!
Ok......Yup, That's a W. What's that stand for bud?, I ask.
Response? The Wyatt. Fantastic. For the record, our entire family has titles now, almost as if we're in a knighthood. I am "THE" mom, Will is of course called "THE" dad and we, naturally call our son (and have actually always called our kid) The Wyatt. No self confidence issues here.

August 17, 2011
We were doing our evening devotionals- " In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth..." and the devotional talked about how we keep our earth clean. How do we do that Wyatt we asked?
Wyatt's response? Ms. Julia.
OH CRAP.
So we gots to work on that one........

June, 2011
Forgetting the Exact context of the conversation, my son looks at me and states, Really, Aly??
*Seriously Wyatt???

I believe we were in the elevator and Wyatt goes, "you're witchy mom". I must have looked at him like I was ready to explode because he looked at me so sweetly saying, Aw shucks.
(aw shucks is cute, but will still get you in time out...dude).

Upon receiving multiple gifts from all of his grandparents, Wyatt states very seriously; I am SO shocked out right now.

May 16, 2011
Wyatt earned himself an ice cream for good behavior tonight, and as he was eating this treat in the presence of Will, Will asked his son how his ice cream tasted. Now keeping in mind that it was a Häagen-Dazs vanilla ice cream covered in milk chocolate, Wyatt replies, it's like a burst of flavor in my mouth.
Bahahaha. uh oh.

May 11, 2011
We're in the McDonald's play land, it's raining.....endlessly and Wyatt is desperate to play. He comes out of the play land area, very ninja like and says to me, I'm going to go in there, sneak up and see if they're going to be my best friend. That's my plan.
OOOOK Wyatt. Good luck with that.

May 4, 2011
It's a humbling moment, not to mention an incredible accountability system when your son (or insert your child) sounds and gestures exactly like you. I'm not saying this out of pride, I'm making this statement out of slight mortification.
Just wanted to get that out there.

Month of April
It's raining and Will, Wyatt and I are at the fish pond park. Wyatt's looking at the water and says, Hey, look at the nipples in the water.
Me:- Uh, that would be ripples Wyatt. RIPPLES.

Me: (Having a moment about something)
Wyatt: Very calmly looking at me, asks, What are you stressed about mom?
Me: (immediately felt like crap)

Wyatt got some new PJ's and apparently had issues with a pair he felt was too small. He looks at Will and I , as he's struggling to put them and says, THIS JUST ISN'T WORKING.

March 30, 2011-
We're riding on the bike and we are practically at the school when I realize Wyatt doesn't have his helmet on. Crap.

Me: Wyatt, did you know you didn't have your helmet on??

Wyatt: Yes.

Me: Well, why didn't you say something??

Wyatt: I didn't want it on- I needed air.

March 20, 2011-
I'm not quite sure what I'm gonna do about this kid. He's too much. He was full of SOMETHING this weekend.

I have to preface by saying, whenever Wyatt asks what weird smells are, it can obviously be anything, so my patented response is- Taiwan. So we're on our way to church and Wyatt has his window rolled down-

Wyatt: What's that smell??

Wyatt (answering his own question): Oh, Taiwan....or a dead animal.

March 19, 2011-
We were shopping downtown and found a fantastic parking space, which prompted Will to say sweet momma cakes !!(please, that's a whole other post in itself....) and my son, with the unending sweet tooth says, mmmmm can I have some of those? ahahah. uh- No.

(Wyatt baking "sweet momma apple pie" with me this past Monday )

March 19, 2011-

Once again in the car, we're driving past the huge Ferris wheel downtown and Wyatt says, Hey look, we're in Jersey. Where are we dad?

Will: NeiHu

Wyatt: Oh, I guess we're not in Jersey.

That's an affirmative my friend.

Week of March 15, 2011-

1)-We were watching a Chinese commercial- and it had a visual of teeth with what perhaps was a dentist? And the pic of the teeth could have been for teeth bonding or dentures- but Wyatt looks at the commercial and goes Look! When your teeth get dirty, you can get new ones!!!!

(He was so excited...leading me to greater encouragement and supervision of his OWN brushing)

2)- Will was laying down with him, trying to get him to calm down enough to go to sleep, but Wyatt was bouncing all over the place. Finally Will told him if he didn't stop he was going to have to go to his own room. Wyatt, sensing Dad meant business, said, Daddy, turn your head so I can look into your eyes..... I love you.

(Some of you may have heard these...but humor me...)

3) We're watching our evening show of MacGyver when the villain comes on, Our ever watchful 4 year old, knowing the bad guys by heart asked, Is that Murdock???

Hope his classmates are up on their 80's shows.....

4) After school one day this week, Wyatt said, Let's go get a kid. (anyone in paticular Wyatt?) A girl. (Age?) 2. No 5.(name?) Sophie- like from DC Cupcakes.

oh geez. Let's not indulge this one- Ok?

March 6, 2011

Fun family day today- Wyatt had some clever one liners which were pretty funny (in my humble opinion of course). We got Wyatt a little kitchenette, replete with cash register, so we were naturally playing kitchen upon coming home. (As a customer) I said to The Wy-Tuh, I think fries would be great. Wyatt says you know what I think would be great? Money. You can't eat before you pay.

Do they really start this young?!

A bit later he replied very frankly, Mom, I gotta booby trap ya.

He's VERY into booby traps right now. And quite successful at them I may add.

March 6, 2011

We're in the MRT restroom and as I am drying off my hands, Wyatt stealthily moved underneath the hand dryer....and loved it. Dare I say he had his eyes closed as the warm air was blowing on his head. It's motion sensored, so he triggered it back on MULTIPLE times. A bit of a spa-like treatment for The Wyatt. I think he would enjoy getting a foot rub, but Will draws the line at the hand dryer. Oh well. Dad says this pic is one that will haunt him in his dating years. I have to agree. I have the album ready.

March 6, 2011

So I popped into the Living room to find The Wyatt all tied up. Kati insisted he didn't want to be untied. So what Wyatt wants- Wyatt gets. We went to dinner.

(I'm so just kidding.....you know just in case anyone got a pang of anxiety. I uh, didn't even think about it.) He is currently untied.

March 3, 2011

He's just cute man- I can't handle it.

February 23, 2011 --We're at the park this evening and this little Taiwanese boy tentatively came over and began to play. After awhile I asked him his name and he stated it was Lucas. Wyatt then introduced himself. Judging from Lucas' size I asked if he was 4, to which he said yes. Wyatt was extremely excited that Lucas was the same age and responded with an enthusiastic "YEAH BABY!!!!!" and proceeded to provide words of encouragement to Lucas throughout the evening in regards to his sand skills, saying Good job Buddy…Buddy this and Buddy that. Very cute. Over the top? Just a bit for the uber reserved Lucas. I know Wyatt? Over the top??? WHAAAAAT?

February 22, 2011- Wyatt's new term of endearment for his mother? Mr. Mom.

That's maam to you sir.

sheesh.

February 21, 2011- *Warning* He was on a roll today.

1)- We were at the park feeding CharlietheAndy puppy and Wyatt, well..Wyatt always has a plan- and he's very liberal about telling you them and what one needs to do within his plan. There were a lot of kids at the park at the time so he states to me, I will wait until the kids leave, (then) throw the food down. (Then with imagined gusto)YOU CAN COUNT ON ME!

OK Wyatt.

2)-Wyatt: What do elephants eat?

Me: I don't know.

Wyatt: (Well) Use your imagination- Chopped liver/chicken nuggets.

3)I think he was on his bike at the time- he turns around sits on it backwards and goes to me, How you like me now buddy??

Granted, it's funnier when you can picture his facial expressions and tone when he's saying it.

February 17, 2011

Today was a big day for The Wyatt. Not only did he get his first haircut in Taiwan, but he seems to have cemented his relationship with our housekeeper Julia. She loves him too...but then, how could you not. But I'm just his mother.

Sweet Julia

                                                                                                         

Before                                                                                                  After

February 16, 2011

So, Apparently Wyatt and I are seriously missing our animals. We came upon this little guy in the park and Wyatt named him CharlieAndy puppy. We'll be back tomorrow to see if he's still there. I think he lives underneath one of the bridges. Wyatt has a plan to throw a stick to him every day.......The plan was much longer, but I'll spare you the details.

EVERYDAY-

Wyatt's new comment to basically everything lately is....

AWWWWW C'MON!!!!!! YOU"VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME?!?!

This can be in regards to his movie not starting when he wants, not getting the snack he anticipated, his breathing treatment not being quite done.......I think you've got the point? Basically when something doesn't go his way...which, apparently is a lot.

February 13, 2011

Wyatt picks up an apple slice at lunch, puts it up to his ear and says in his quirky Wyatt-ness- Oh yeah, an apple phone.....Oh Hi. You want to talk to Aly?? This child is too much.

February 12, 2011

Will, Wyatt and I were in the car and we were trying a little "experiment" and were totally silent, not saying a word. Wyatt was going crazy by the silence and said in his little Wyatt way- " WOW. So it's really quiet in here."

February 11, 2011

We're eating dumplings at dinner tonight and crap on me for not remembering the full context of our conversation, but it was hysterical- very much a Goonies moment. Wyatt was eating his pork dumplings. which he LOVES and exclaimed, this is our time. It was really funny. Maybe you had to be there.

Over the weekend......

Another proud momma/making me misty moment.- My boy is riding a bike..well with training wheels. Getting so big.....

 

February 8, 2011

So, we're in McDonald's playland....HEY!- It's been a week. Wyatt pokes his head out of the playland and says amidst his laughter, I scared them.... They think I'm playing.... He didn't say it in a creepy way, but it made me laugh.

February 7, 2011

We're on a family outing to dinner and Will stops at the bank, while I head on over to the park with Wyatt. He's in the stroller, being that he intermittently loses his ability to use his legs and I swear, this wasn't on purpose...I hit the curb and completely spilled him all over the concrete. oops. He stands up, gives me this VERY serious look and says MOM..I AM VERY ANGRY AT YOU.

February 5, 2011

Wyatt is sitting with Will and I on the couch and Will and Wyatt are talking about how Wyatt is going to live with both of us forever- then he starts talking about his future wife....(this came unprompted out of nowhere by the way).- Wyatt said you know what, I have a wife in West Virginia. OOOK. What does she look like Wyatt? She has a beard, a lot of hats and spikey hair. huh. I mean, we are teaching him not to be superficial, but perhaps he can set the bar just a bit higher....just sayin.

February 3, 2011

We're on our way to the zoo..again, you know a fun family day trip. hahhhaah- ok back to The Wyatt. The picture says it all- the one portion of our MRT ride is quite long, so Wyatt had his ipod out and was watching Billy the Exterminator. Like good parents, we teach our kid to share, so there's this little kid next to him watching as well. I didn't think it was in good form to take a pic of the kids mom- but this episode happened to be the one where they're in the "house of horrors" in the duck blind...with the snakes. The kid's mom look nothing short of horrified. Sweet. You know, doing what we can to create one redneck at a time in good ol' Taiwan. By the way, the little boy was loving it.

February 2, 2011

A mother's worst nightmare as their son exclaims...

I want to get bigger so I can kiss lips.

ughhh.

February 1, 2011

I'm cutting Wyatt's fingernails and they're snapping and bouncing all over the place. Wyatt during this process says, very blasé- that's American. Here we go again. I look him in the eye and ask, what Wyatt, about your nail falling on the floor is "American?"- To which he then responded- its when you're in a band and you play the drums. OOOOK. (thankfully he said the drums and not the guitar...will's got a pet peeve about that..but different post for a different section). So let me give you some scary insight into my son's thought pattern. Seconds earlier he was talking about the nails jumping around, which I believe reminded him of dancing, hence the thought of bands and their emission of music (you know making people dance)- which of course is Sooooo American. yup. there you have it.

January 26, 2011

We're baking chocolate chip cookies from scratch for the first time in forever, well the first time in Taiwan at least- and Wyatt is dumping a cup of chocolate chips into the dough. As he's watching the Kitchen Aide Mixer blend in the chips he says, it's like a carnival and it wants all the people to come on........It's American.

I could see the vision actually- the chocolate chips did in fact look like a lot of people at a carnival clamoring to get on rides. It's all in the imagination....

January 25, 2011

I'm on the computer in the play/guest-room/office and Wyatt says to me as he's climbing in the box house we had just made, so you can close these doors, count (to play hide n seek), put on 'punkin' chunkin' and give me a snack. Is that a deal? *Note* he says this all with such conviction it's very hard not to get sucked in.....but he does need to work on his hiding spots. Particularly if I'm helping him hide in the very place I'm about to find him. ahhh well.

January 23, 2011

Wyatt and I are at our little park across the street- it's the afternoon and I am only on my second cup of coffee. The first one, consumed about 7 hours previously was weak. VERY weak. Wyatt kept nagging for me to play with him, I kept showing him my cup, asking, is it done yet? Nope- Not playing until it's done.- Then he goes, my He-Man fan, come one mom, drink your power!!!!! Take that He-Man. power of greyskull. pshh. Clearly he's never had a mochachino late from Mos Burger. ahhhhh wyatt.

January 21, 2011

Wyatt and I are at the Taipei Zoo, and Wyatt is picking out a stuffed animal, as a "replacement" for pumpkin patch. I have to give the kid credit- when he puts his mind to something- he wants what he wants. The sales lady in this place was good....very good. She kept showing him bigger better pandas, soft ones, ones on sale...but true to form, he did not want the fluffy or the flashy. He did not want the biggest panda in the store. Much like his previous puppy, his new panda fit comfortably in his hand and is, well, just right. The lady kept coming up to him, and again, to his credit, he remained polite yet firm....she realized he was a no sell and moved along. She even tried showing him t-shirts...um really?

So, the panda is purchased and I ask him what he's going to name him. Without so much as a hesitation he stated Pumpkin Patch. Wyatt, I asked, do you really think that's a good idea?... I mean don't you think you might get a little sad? No MOOOM.- I just like the name.

Next time I'll just keep my mouth shut. Here we go...Pumpkin Patch, Part Deux.

January 18, 2011-

Shoot, well, we were in McDonald's again...don't judge- they have a play-land, it's 2 minutes away and the food is cheap. Wyatt once again came out of the play-land all "dramatical", having a tearless meltdown verbalizing to me that the kids don't like him and that they don't want to play with him. First, I told him that the other kids weren't even speaking English, let alone saying that they didn't like him. Secondly, I tried to discuss with him that the way his face was at that moment, in that perpetual sour-puss pout..... no one was going to want to play with him. We took a few minutes to talk about non-verbals and body language. We discussed that no matter what language a person spoke, a smile, a pat on the back or even a thumbs up would shine through and speak volumes. Well, Wyatt took the whole thumbs up thing to heart. Minutes later he ran back out of the big M's play-land yelling excitedly that he had given a boy the thumbs up 5 times and the kid started playing with him!!!! (thank you Jesus was my not-so silent prayer)(side note, later that afternoon a man in his 60's who was collecting trash/recycling was also the recipient of a very enthusiastic thumbs up).

January 16, 2011-

I'm aware that kids regress with change. I understand this, and I don't necessarily think my child is "above" this behavior but......

We're at church and the greeter says hello and asks Wyatt his name. I will cut the kid a bit of slack, I really will, but this is the second time he has done this this week. He turns and looks at me and asks, Mom, what's my name? (Really Wyatt??)

He seemed to remember it once I told him he couldn't play with a particular toy until his recall came back. Amazing.

For the record, his name is Wyatt Cooper.

January 12, 2011-

I'm sitting with Wyatt in the McDonald's ( in Taiwan of course)- we're both a bit emotionally spent and I'm on my last bit of patience. We're splitting an ice cream and I decide to talk it out with him...see what's going on. I ask him if he's having a good time or a hard time in Taiwan. He states he's having a hard time. After some prompting he states- I'm having a hard time because the people here are freaking me out. He made this statement so seriously and with such conviction, it was hard not to laugh.

Not that it made him feel any better, but I'm pretty freaked out too.