The Art of Fine Dining

Have you ever known you were going out to dinner and looked forward to it, like ALL week long? Or... had your favorite candy bar sitting in the fridge (Hello Lindts Double Milk...thank you Kati Kelly..)just waiting for that special moment of consumption? Anticipatory excitement.... It's like a novelty. Now imagine eating out every night or having to eat your favorite candy bar every day- kind of loses some of that initial appeal, right? Yeah this is the state I currently find myself in- ah yes the trials if being an ex-pat wife. Right. I know some of you may want to punch me in the face right now . I get it. I'm NOT complaining. It's my same old saga of trying to figure things out...out loud... No need to thank me. I've been hearing a bunch of mothers feeling the same way as their kids are heading off to school.
In this respect I feel men have the advantage   (disclaimer* MY opinion*).
Certainly not in every circumstance but in many, the guy goes to work, (working hard mind you), feeling the daily pressures of needing to make ends meet while ensuring that the financial obligations of his family are met. I completely get that that can be tremendously stressful. But the mother.....well that's a different animal entirely isn't it. I feel that men aren't as riddled with guilt or with as many concerns as they make their way into the workplace. Their role is more defined.....but moms? Me? Guilty. Pulled in so many directions- constantly wondering if we're making the right decisions, spending enough time with our kids. Did we give them a big enough hug this morning? Why did I have to yell so loud when he jumped on my head this morning at 6:15 AM? Why after school have we only spent a total of 20 minutes together before I'm disciplining and trying to maintain a shred of patience?  As mothers we tell ourselves, I know I need to work, but is there some other way to make ends meet? I know I really don't need to work....but I really want to......oh God, will he be in therapy because I didn't breastfeed?
And so it goes. On and on- it's endless. So much of our lives, energy and heart go into our kids. My heart is walking around the playground under someone else's watch while I spend yet another morning getting a cup of coffee and going to the gym. All the while knowing that I've GOT to do something else other than what I'm doing. This is approximately my second full week of school being in session and while fun and exciting at first, I'm getting full of the fine dining every day. I've caught up on the first season of Glee, joined a woman's bible study and consumed way more iced coffees than I'd care to share. My husband assures me that once my volunteer job kicks in more steadily, I'll feel more grounded. I sure hope so because I'm floundering, and ultimately I feel incredibly self centered; not to mention with as much time as I'm going to the gym,  I should be in WAY better shape. OH the iced coffees... Well it's a vicious cycle isn't it?
Highlight  of my Debbie downer post? Not sure how many of you know the book Love You Forever by Robert Munsch.- but there's a little song in there that I sing to Wyatt every now and then-
 I will love you forever
I'll like you for always as long as I'm living-
My baby you'll be.
Well this morning Wyatt, always sensing my moods and making the conscious choice to either assuage or exacerbate them, chose in this instance to look at me in all my depths of despair and sing the song to me.
Ahhhhhh my son, my heart.
That my friends, is fine dining and I ate it up. Every bite.

Keep your head up....

Last week was.... interesting. Such a funny word interesting, as it can denote a TON of meanings. Interesting can be taken at face value like, huh, that animal is really interesting looking. OR wow- that outfit with all those crazy colors was pretty interesting. OR ewwww did you see what that guy did over there? That was interesting. But I have to say my all time favorite is when I'm being myself and my Taiwanese friend says...interesting. Ahhhh yes. Anyway last week was....different...interesting if you will. Just as I was getting into the groove and trying to come up with some kind of schedule (gasp)or something for myself, we have a typhoon warning and school is cancelled. What is this, Virginia? The only reason I say that is because nothing happened..which don't get me wrong I'm thankful for, and I know precautionary measures needed to be taken, but.....it kind of threw me all off.
SOOOO Monday-I had a scheduled "interview/meet and greet" for a volunteer position I'm interested (there it is again) in, which had to be rescheduled, no gym, which perpetuated me into a cycle of not going there, (with the exception of Friday) for the rest of the week and really just overall restlessness and feeling kind of weird about Wyatt and this whole school, find a life thing. I really do miss my son people. I need to get over it. It's a part of growing up (for me, not him). I however digress....
The most interesting thing that happened this week? Wyatt armoring up, failing to pay attention to where he's going and running into a cobblestone post. It gave a whole new meaning to...well, that'll leave a mark.......

Power in the List

Will came up with the greatest idea ever. I'm not saying he wasn't before....but he is SOOO my hero. Ever the humble guy, I  believe he actually exhibited a bit of pride at this parenting idea....which, I have to tell you is completely warranted. Will disclosed to me that when he was younger he was able to perform morning and evening activities(tasks) easier and without hassle via list. I know. SHOCKING. My husband, the chemical engineer, needing a list? WHAAAAAAT?
OK. I'm done. Thinking of myself, and knowing that a younger version of myself following a list in the A.M. would have had as much success as a snowball's survival in the pit of Hades, I was wondering how Wyatt would react. I was pleasantly surprised. This is putting it mildly mind you. He LOVES the lists. I feel like I need to put these words in CAPS to really REALLY emphasize how exciting this is. I get, how do you say......perturbed?...MUCH more easily in the morning than any other time during the day. My IV pump of coffee has not yet been hooked up and I am much more vulnerable to emitting verbal attacks to people (read:Wyatt) who are not listening, not getting ready, essentially not doing what they need to do to get ready for school. If the bus is missed, I have to ride him to school.....on my bike. Do I really want to do that prior to coffee? No. No I do not. Hence-The beauty of the list. When he's messing around not doing what he needs to do, instead of screaming like a banshee and fighting for control, I tell him, (as calmly as possible mind you) to look at the list. Did you do blah blah blah Wyatt? Etc Etc. If he completes all tasks then he is allowed to bring the Ipad downstairs while we wait for the bus. His 10 minutes of Voltron/Transformer time is a huge motivator for him-  Hey whatever does it. I'm game and Mama's happy. VERY happy...and I can start the day without a sore throat. Sweet.

Look at me on fire with the organization. I thought Will was gonna toss his cookies when he saw the calendar. He doesn't  even know who he married anymore, and keeps making the statement that he loves Taiwan.
I'm trying not to take that personally.

OK OK....

In the spirit of honesty, this is how I really looked as Wyatt was getting picked up by the bus. Credit to my husband for capturing the moment.

Bye Bye Baby

    

As a grown woman (it actually pained me to type that), I am no stranger to heartbreak. Grade school crushes gone bad, middle school angst, high school puppy love and a few "he must be the one(s)" in college that thankfully weren't. Yet, of all my heartache, I never once thought that one day my son would be the source of this type of pain...and yet here I find myself sniffling and trying to put my big girl panties on and get over it. My son, the one whom my mother prayed would be just like me (spite?..or did she just really really love me so much that she wanted another one of us in the world?!...jury's still out) knows my buttons. I've written about this before. He knows what gets me. He knows what pushes me to the brink. He knows he can crush me by dismissing me so casually when I'm vying for his time and he knows he can bring me back with his sly little glance and a sweet kiss or a squeeze on the neck. But what he can't help or take back is growing up. It's gotta be done and I'm going to let it happen if it kills me...I mean for pete's sake I certainly don't want to be one of those mothers that Freud had so often alluded to. It's just SOOO hard. This of course brings us to the first day of Pre-K and his first bus ride.(Two torturous events on two different days). He rocked it. I mean, he was awesome. He wasn't clingy, he wasn't scared- he was confident, self assured, just like we've raised him to be.......so what's the problem? Did I want him to hug a little harder, protest a smidge? No. And that's the truth. It's just hard to let your baby go, you know?

                    

                          

                             

                                   

We're BAAACK.......

Cover up....ready to fly?

4 plane trips, 4 states, 1 wedding, a lot of tears, approximately 24.5 hours in the car....friends, family, extra pounds, a whole lot of extra baggage, uh... luggage.....And we find ourselves home. How weird is that? Taiwan.... Home ?
I've had this discussion with Will a bunch of times- regarding my feelings of "home." And it truly is a feeling- I know you know what I'm talking about- when you're in your house or apartment... even the state your in, either you feel it or you don't. I haven't felt it in a long time. And yes of course home is where your family is and all that crap, but I feel as if that's implied. I mean, home is where my main men are-don't get me wrong... It's not who I'm with, it's just where I'm at, my surroundings I guess. Is this making any sense? Let's take a look..Front Royal? Nope, never really felt like home- Richmond? Nah... Manassas,  yeah, more than the other places in Va. NJ? Absolutely. I can't help it. I feel at home as soon as I cross the PA border- being there makes me feel good. The people make me feel good. (Keep your NJ comments to yourself). I just feel "it" when I'm there. And interestingly enough, I'm feeling that way about Taiwan. - I feel less restless here-the culture, the people, with their street markets and crazy fare, the daily routine...(not working?!...hmmm)I love it.  When we walked into the apartment and collapsed on the bed in exhaustion, it was bittersweet. Sure we missed our animals, our family, our friends....but there was also the startling recognition of knowing we were home. For right now... For the next couple years?....I'm OK with that.

                         

And a great time was had by all..........

Quack Quack

This duck was out

Duck whistle=imperative

Knowing nothing about Singapore, what better way to tour the town than in a DuckBoat? Uh, sure. Why not. Will said that this was a must, that DuckBoats are seriously cool and that Wyatt would go nuts over it. (*FYI- OK. Will did not use the term seriously cool.- I just got caught up in the moment.) Now finding the stinkin' DuckBoat place almost drove me to kick someone's face in (in a nice way), though thankfully this was not necessary as we made it there- FINALLY, after multiple tries with a variety of different directions from people who had no idea what they were talking about. *WHEW*. Holy run-on. Wyatt was psyched though-primarily because he was picturing this Duck Boat as some kind of transformer thingamajig...wheels on the road, turning into a boat upon hitting the water and fighting huge monstrous Singaporean lockness monsters of doom. In hindsight, I believe he was a bit disappointed by the "transformation." Granted he was asleep for the greater part of the trip but....bygones. I took a bunch of cool pics from the water, attempting throughout the duration of the trip to understand a fraction of what our tour guide was saying above the sound of the motor and the speed at which she was speaking. I unfortunately was unsuccessful, (though a cabby later in the week gave me the 5 cent Singapore tour and I was filled in on everything I had missed...I loved that guy!) All in all it was pretty cool, though, again expensive- but worth it- I mean, I know I was a bit sheltered growing up, but has anyone else heard of a Duckboat?? I can now say been there done that. Quack Quack. 

Sweating on trek home. Done and Done.