Looking Up

Today is one of those days where I feel it is necessary to preface that I love my children because I'm going to be honest. 

I know there are stronger women than I out there.

But there are days I. just. can't.

The desire to run away is strong. 

I feel like I'm drowning. 

There is a permanent lump in my throat. Tears are bound to flow at a moments notice. 

I cry out for Jesus to just help me. Hold me. I feel weak, impotent, spent. 

I don't want to hear the whines, screams or crying. I don't want to be touched, pulled, kicked or peed on. 

Laundry mounts, sinks are full and everywhere I turn are goldfish crumbs. 

You've seen those hallmark movies or read the books, right? Where the mother flees the scene? We gasp and say we could never. 

I empathize. I feel that mother, because today? I. just.can't. 

My precious husband knows. He hands me the keys as I peel out of the driveway. He offers me a hotel room away, the bed to myself.. so I can recoup. So I can just think. Pray. Reflect without the noise.

Mamas. I feel you. Take a moment.

Look up. He's got you.